Remembering back to the days at the Evergreen Learning Center, remembering the many talks with my Sensei over cups of coffee in his Kitchen after hours of 'training' when he would teach me everything from Karate to Cooking to Cleaning properly, things seem so different now.
Waking up at 4:00 in the Morning during Zen Intensives, before the sun came up, to go sit and do nothing but count breaths in the Zendo while facing a wall, but really just watching the candle-light flicker about in a dance of shadows in various shapes and ghastly forms, knowing all too well the reality was there was no reality to any of it, but there was an observer.
Insights came and went, honestly not sure these were even the point of anything, as insights go, they are fleeting and they change, nothing really permanent there, just various judgments of a mind that, like the candle, flickers all about, but again, there is an observer.
What does the observer see now, in light of the memories of these various talks and practices? That, perhaps, the candle-light has been mistaken for the observer, that opinion has become fact, and change is seen as the only constant... The observer, in others, has been missed entirely and the more time goes on, the more are carried away in an almost trance-like state, issuing various mantras fed to them from all around, but nothing ever from within, drowning out that true voice with garbled garbage.
Sensei used to say that he hated Politics, that it was not the essence of what we were doing, that this was missing the point, which was to find the True Self within the spirit of what was passed on, to make it your own you had to know who you really were, otherwise you were just blindly falling about a darkened corridor groping for the walls... At least that is what I took away from it.
Shortly thereafter my Sensei retired from Teaching, saying he was moving to the next level of his practice, getting rid of all his Karate stuff, ceasing to Teach, yet maintaining that the Teacher never truly leaves the Student, quitting the Organization was one thing I could understand, but quitting the path entirely? Certainly I did understand moving to the next level or phase of Practice, seeking to focus on Art or whatever else one was pursuing, but as time went on this did not seem to be the case.
Now? A voice is lent to an endless sea of voices shouting from the streets to the rooftops a single mantra of Politics, Cognitive Dissonance, in a Collective Mindset, completely and totally giving way to the Political thoughts of the day... The candle-light flickers to and fro, but everyone thinks the shadows are real, that they hold weight when everything is blown to dust.
Not even Karate or any other pursuit holds that kind of weight... When it all turns to dust, what remains? There is an observer.
Do we allow the world to dictate who we are? What we think? How we feel? Or do we utilize out Practice to rediscover this for ourselves? The spirit of Martial Arts, indeed, of anything meaningful, is in this.
One cannot even begin to develop true Martial Power without first discovering their True Self. Even still, one must remain Mindful, vigilant, lest they, again, forget who they really are and start to fall for what the world tells them to be, what the world tells them to say, what the world tells them to think.
The answers may be found on the Floor, but was was the original question? Do you remember?
